Have you had that experience in your life — gone from disappointing sex with a great man to amazing sex with a man that you convince yourself is great but may not be?

He shows up.

Like something feral on the hunt, he comes out of nowhere, picking up your scent. He senses your weakness, your need. You are powerless and succumbed to him totally.

Okay, in reality he is the most incredible, intuitive, outrageous love ever. EVER. Like you never thought was possible until you experience it. A complete revelation, after years of mediocre sex, even in the best of times, you realize every one else had none of the game or guile that make your new lover such a master of the sexual arts. Being with him is the ultimate drug his scent alone will make you dizzy but in no time he will turn you into a person you won’t recognize. A person who’d jeopardize pretty much everything else in her life – her business, her friendships, her sense of self, her self-esteem – just to get more. Just to score more time together, Hungry, desperate and his for the taking.

It varies for each case, sometimes the guy has an inexhaustible supply of ridiculous excuses of where he was and what he was doing, when he isn’t with you; out of cell phone range, visiting a sick friend, saving lives. Sometimes he’s borrowing money, your car, or needing a place to crash. He’ll have elaborate excuses of why he’s broke or homeless, and make promises of making it up to you as soon as whatever his lie is “works out”. The only thing more ridiculous than his stories is the eagerness to believe him. Nothing adds up with him, but you become so addicted it’s difficult to cut him loose. Usually this guy will abandon you, and you’ll see a level of crazy in yourself that you didn’t know existed. You’ll have to mourn the loss of the promises he made, and realize they were lies. Then one day, as if by a miracle, you wake up. It’s a process, but finally you cleanse yourself. Then you need to forgive yourself.

We all make choices. We live and learn. Good sex, even great sex does NOT equal love. And good sex, even great sex, can’t take the place of it. This man, who could be so incredibly tender, who seems to know every damn nook and cranny of your psyche, not to mention your body, can’t fill the void. Deep down you’ll know the danger of ever running in to him again. Until then you’ll forever question your ability to turn him away. Will you give up everything you have rebuilt since losing him for the high again? You have to trust that you’re stronger than you think.