4 Normal Stages a Relationship Goes Through.
1. The Passion of New Love
When you first link up with a new love, it’s as if you’ve been transported to a different world: Planet Utopia, where every joke of his is hysterical, every meal you share is scrumptious, and every moment together is miraculous. You get excited about the chase. The “capture” of that new, interesting person – the person whose presence makes your heart thump, and whose mere touch sends your body a-quivering. New love means you can’t sleep at night. You think about your lover constantly. You want to always be with them. You don’t want to be apart. Ah yes, this is the love that romance novels are written about. Did you ever wonder why romance novels end when the hero and heroine finally get together and marry? It’s because that’s the exciting part! This period of infatuation might feel mysterious and mythic, but in fact, it has a strictly scientific explanation: hormones, hormones, hormones.
2. Mature Love Sets In
If your body really kept up that new-love passion for its entire life, you would burn out pretty quickly! The explanation is mostly physiological: Your overtaxed, overhyped brain can’t sustain its amped-up state once its nerve endings become habituated to the infatuation hormone, Usually after three to six months. The symptoms of boy burnout: You’re not writing his name in pancake syrup any more, you realize he has an annoying habit (actually several) — or you find yourself suddenly craving sleep instead of all-night sex. Don’t freak out…or break up! After the intensity of stage one, it’s natural to come off your high and wonder if he’s the one for you. But rather than second-guessing your guy, realize that this phase is an unavoidable (and likely temporary) stretch on the way to a long-term relationship. So when your lust levels start to dip back toward normal, try not to focus on the letdown but see it as a new opportunity to find out how you click out of the sack
3. Actually, This is Pretty Good … If Only He’d Just…
Stage three in most relationships is the settling down with the notion that “this is rather good after all!” It’s the reconciling that life *isn’t* about non-stop romance, but it is about constant, meaningful tenderness. But as you start to get comfortable with that idea, the little things that were “cute” in the beginning of the relationship now start to grate on you. Those little grating annoyances can start go be like water torture … drip … drip … drip … until finally you explode in anger over something that really wasn’t that important. The important thing here is to realize that every one of us is an individual, and we each have good AND bad parts. Yes, your partner has some annoying traits. We ALL do. Undoubtedly some traits of yours annoy your partner. You have to love ALL of your partner, and that includes accepting that he is NOT perfect.
4. Happy Together
Once you hit two years and beyond, chances are, you’ll both feel intimately and intricately connected, you truly are best friends. You’ve made it through good times and bad times. You trust each other that you won’t run off if things get bad – you know you’re in it for the long haul. Now, more than ever, you’re confident that even a big blowout doesn’t mean a breakup but taking each other for granted is still a risk. To avoid letting your love fall apart due to neglect, make sure you always have an aim in sight. When you’re not working toward a common goal, it’s easy to lose the incentive to stay in the relationship. The most obvious objective is marriage, but you can also talk about raising a pet or saving for an exotic vacation.
Keep in mind that even the most connected couples repeat the less-appealing phases of the relationship cycle all over again. The good news? Each time you move through the highs and lows of coupledom, Love explains, you reach a deeper level of love.The ups and downs create an intimacy that energizes you and takes you beyond even the apex of your first falling-in-love buzz.