What Your Underwear Says About You on a Date
Nerve has done the research and pooled the results! THIS is what your underwear says about you on a date:
Boxers — You appreciate comfort, and you’re probably a great cuddler. That’ll come in handy later tonight. You’re a relaxed guy who prefers a relaxed fit. Makes sense.
Briefs — You’re all business. You checked the menu online to choose what to order ahead of time, because you like knowing what you want and you like feeling in control (be it of your choice of appetizer or your package). You take after your grandfather, from your good manners down your taste in underwear.
Boxer briefs — You’re great at thoughtfully weighing the pros and cons of a situation before making a decision: that’s why your underwear is not too tight, not too loose, but juuuust right. Well done, Goldilocks. You’re the kind of guy who’ll gladly volunteer to calculate the tip when the check comes, and we always need more of those.
Trunk — You prefer a stylish cut with less fabric, which means you don’t have time for bullshit. Your friends, loved ones, and significant others learn quickly that you’re direct about how you feel. It’s an invaluable quality, even if it can be a little alienating at first. Plus, you look damn good.
Panties — If you can actually say the word “panties” aloud without squirming, we salute you. But be aware that you may be a cyborg.
Lace thong — You have high hopes for tonight. You won’t be disappointed. You’re a girly girl and you enjoy being pampered. Then again, who doesn’t?
Cotton thong — You do a lot of yoga, and it shows. You wear this to pick up your cruelty-free asparagus from the farmer’s market, then seamlessly transition to a night on the town. You’re practical, but you don’t let that interfere with having fun.
Boyshorts — You’re sexy, there’s no doubt about that. Why do you think all hot girls in movies are called Charlie, Sam, or Frankie? Those are the boyshorts of names.
Shapers and Spanx — You believe in the importance of a good first impression. After that, well, anything goes. Turn off the lights and see what happens.
Crotchless panties — You value efficiency. So will your date.
Edible underwear — You’re quirky, but well prepared in case of a snack-mergency.
Anything with a day of the week printed on it, on that day of the week — You have impressive self-discipline. You’re very organized and I’d love it if you’d consider doing my taxes.
Anything with a day of the week printed on it, on another day of the week — You mean well. Your life doesn’t always go according to plan, but you’re willing to roll with the punches.
G-string — You suspect, deep down, that you’d make an excellent stripper. You’re not wrong.
Granny panties — It’s possible that you’re purposefully doomsday device-ing yourself into avoiding sex on a first date, or you simply don’t give a damn what people think. Either way, I dig your style.
Something involving with a garter belt — You have extraordinary fine motor skills and your sexual confidence is nothing to sniff at. You would probably excel at tying nautical knots. (That has more to do with the fine motor skills, but I’m sure the sexual confidence wouldn’t hurt, either.)
Nothing at all — You’re hot. But you definitely slacked on your laundry.