Going Back Home for the Holidays? Dos and Don’ts of Hometown Hookups
Looking for a little action while you’re home for the holidays? If you run into an ex as cute as Bradley Cooper, we don’t blame you. But read this first…
The Dos and Don’ts of Hometown Hookups:
1. Do Text Your Single, Sweet High School Boyfriend That You Should Have Stayed With. Hooking up with a former flame over the holiday break is the way to go if you’re looking for a little TLC. This familiar friend knows all your sweet spots, how much whipped cream you want piled on your hot cocoa, and that your favorite holiday movie is Elf. There’s no better person to cozy up with when you’re visiting Mom and Dad for the holidays.
2. Do Go for a Drink With the Guy Who Crushed On You Hard. So, you’re on a last-minute shopping run to the mall and you run into the guy who sat behind you in math class all senior year—and he’s suddenly cuter and less “wanna study equations after school?” Jack—you mean Jake is still a numbers guy, only this time around—he wants your number. He might be the answer to who you’ll take to your bestie’s New Year’s Eve party, so go for it.
3. Do Make Out With Your Friend’s Hot Older Brother. You sweated him since you were 12 and in braces. These days you’re a confident woman home for a mini-holiday from your cool big-city life. Big bro is cuter and less cocky. Now’s your chance, so happen to find yourself under the mistletoe with him when you stop over to visit your bestie.
4. Don’t Curb Your Breakup Sorrows by Hooking Up With the Creepy TA From Pre-Calc. He helped you study and pass with a C, but that’s no reason to make out with him over break. Why? How weird would it be if he was your TA for another class this spring? Now he thinks that being your study buddy has added benefits. And do you really wanna be known among the TA scene as the student who does…extra credit?
5. Don’t Ruin the Best Relationship You’re Already in by Getting Too Drunk and Hooking Up With a Random at a Party. You’re home visiting Mom and Dad—and your boyfriend is doing same, only in a different state. I don’t care how spiked the eggnog is, do not have a one-nighter with your, fine, very attractive ex. That ship has sailed. Plus, do you really want to deal with that sinking, pitiful guilty feeling in your stomach when you meet back up on campus. That’s a big NO.
6. Don’t Hook Up With Your Neighbor Because You’re Both Spending a Quiet Holiday Season at Home. Neighbor sex has it’s obvious perks, until you find yourself stalking your neighbor’s driveway to see if he’s home. Freaking out when you catch a girl sneaking out in his shirt at dawn. Worse, when he says he’s not home but his bedroom light is on. Neighbors are good for a cup of sugar, but a sexual relationship is way too complicated—especially around the holidays when everyone is feeling wishy-washy, high on sugar and drunk.