40 Things Every Woman Should Know About Sex by Age 40
1. He Doesn’t Care if You’ve Shaved.
Really. It doesn’t even cross his mind.
2. It’s Not the Size of the Ship, It’s the Motion of the Ocean.
If you care at all about penis size (and studies show that women are far more into aesthetics than measurements), you know that girth matters more than length.
3. All the Girls Are Doing It.
Masturbating, that is. A 2004 survey says that, almost half of women between the ages of 45 and 49 said they had taken matters into their own hands within the previous 6 months.
4. Men like to cuddle.
During lovemaking, both men and women release a chemical called oxytocin that is considered the love hormone. It helps new moms and their babies bond. In men oxytocin boosts the desire for intimacy, along with their feelings of trust.
5. You Really Can Tell a Guy’s Size by His Hands.
Studies indicate that finger length ratios (but not the size of the fingers themselves) can provide some clue about member length Both are determined by the amount of testosterone he was exposed to in the womb. If his ring finger is the same size or smaller than his index finger, he received lower levels of testosterone.
6. Variety is the spice of life.
It’s fun to get a little wild. Whether you do it in a hammock or on an airplane; on the kitchen floor or in the shower; dressed in leather or in lace, if it’s new, it’s improved.
7. Faking It: Pointless.
Showing him what you like: brilliant.
8. Anyone Can be Good in Bed.
You do need a good working knowledge of your subject, experience and be willing to take and give feedback. Practice makes perfect!
9. When it Comes to How Big, How Often, How Many Times in One Night…
…your friends are lying.
10. Embrace Your Kink.
What used to be too “kinky” to contemplate is jolly good if you’ve finally shed your inhibitions. So go for it! Make a sex tape, do a strip tease, try a threesome or whatever you’ve secretly wanted to do. If it’s exciting to you, it will be a turn on for your mate.
11. Tell him What You Want.
Telling your partner what you want in the bedroom can feel awkward, but you don’t always have to use your words. Moan when he hits the right spot, play teacher, guide his hands, or just show him what you want yourself!
12. He Doesn’t Care if You Haven’t Showered Yet.
He doesn’t mind if you just woke up, or even coming home sweaty from the gym. He’s just happy to be having sex. If it still bothers you, have him join you in the shower!
13. You spend a tiny proportion of your lives having sex.
Don’t confuse love and lust.
14. Marrieds Do it More.
Believe it or not, if you’re married, you’re having more sex than single people. The average number of times that married people have sex is 69 per year. That’s nine more times than single people do, but by now, you know that quality counts more than quantity.
15. Romance Can Last Forever…Or at Least for a Long Time.
New research shows that long-term relationships can keep their sexual chemistry, intensity and engagement going strong. If they’re missing the passion of short-term relationships, that’s probably a good thing, that means they’re also free of anxiety and insecurity.
16. He’s Probably Still Watching Porn
Men are visual. They like looking at sexy things. This is the main reason why men watch porn. It’s usually that innocent.
17. It’s Not You…it’s Your Hormones.
Let us count the ways perimenopause can mess up your sex life:
-Your period lasts forever: you bleed like a stuck pig for seven days, and stain for another three.
-Your sex drive has shrivelled up.
-You’re as dry as dust.
-Your mood swings like a wrecking ball.
-It’s too damn hot.
18. Be a Little Rough.
Men generally like to be touched twice as hard as women do. Their skin is thicker. This doesn’t mean you should be too rough though.
19. Casual Sex Isn’t for Everyone.
Brief casual sexual encounters may sound like a kick, but for many women, they’re not a great experience. Only 54 percent of the women polled who’d had a one-night stand had positive feelings about it. Surprise, surprise: 85 percent of men thought it was just great.
20. Smutty Is Sexy.
Dirty talk is a real turn-on for some couples. It can be as clean or raunchy as you both like. Just make sure you know where your partner draws the line between dirty and disgusting.
21. Nobody Wants to Hear About it.
Spare your friend, sister, and especially your colleague the details of your sex life. It might have been fun to compare notes in your 20s, but as a grown woman, it’s uncomfortable. Do you really want them to picture you and your husband doing it on the roof?
22. He Doesn’t Care if You Can’t Quite Button Your Pants.
He really doesn’t.
23. It’s Not You…it’s Him.
Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t always ready and raring to go—especially middle-aged men. Many go through their own form of menopause as their testosterone levels start to drop. After 40, testosterone declines by approximately 1% per year, with a steep drop between the ages of 45 and 50. So if he takes longer or is less gung-ho, go easy on him…and yourself.
24. A Little Cleavage Goes a Long Way.
Do you think he likes your shirt buttoned up to your chin? Or a T-shirt shrouding your tankini? Get over yourself. You may have stretch marks and spider veins, but with the right support, your boobs can still hold their own. So let ’em show, and you’ll feel sexier than you have in a long time.
25. Less Sex Means More Work.
If you’re not having sex, Chances are, you’re working more. Men and women both turn to work to fill the void when they have sex less than once a week, according to a survey of 32,000 people by the University of Gottingen in Germany
26. Intercourse Doesn’t Cut it.
In case you thought you were the only one, you’ll want to know that nearly one-third of women don’t have orgasms during intercourse alone. That’s because thrusting rarely stimulates the clitoris, the most reliable source for the female pleasure.
27. Good Kissing Is a Good Sign.
Studies show that women tend to assess a relationship by how skilled his smooching is. And they’re more likely to have sex with a man who does it well.
28. Money Isn’t Everything…
…but when it comes to sex, it certainly helps. Women who had wealthy husbands or boyfriends reported having more orgasms than those who didn’t, according to a 2009 survey by the University of Newcastle in England.
29. He Doesn’t Care…
…if you wear flannel to bed.
30. If You’re Too Tired, it’s Too Bad for Him.
The best thing about getting older is that you can do—or not do—whatever you want. Say it nicely, and your partner should understand if you’ve got a headache or you want to binge-watch House of Cards instead of making love. Unless, of course, the marathon—or the headache—is a weekly event.
31. Phone Sex Is Worth trying.
It’s the next best thing to being there, but not that many forty-somethings know it. According to a 2004 survey by AARP, only 17 percent of men and 18 percent of women between the ages of 45 and 49 have had phone sex.
32. It’s Never Too Late.
Even if having sex is something you do only on birthdays and Christmas, you can always get back on the stick. All you have to do is…have sex. You may have to push yourself at first, but the more you do it, the more you want it. Start with once a month, then once a week, and who knows? Maybe you’ll be a once-a-day woman
33. Take your position.
All sex positions are a variant of the basic five: him on top, her on top, side-by-side, from behind and standing.
34. You’re a unique snowflake.
Genitals come in all different shapes and sizes. Don’t compare yours to the porn stars: they’ve all been ‘tidied up’, bleached and waxed.
35. Don’t Sleep with Jerks
If you’re feeling bad after sex you’re sleeping with the wrong person.
35. Lets talk about sex.
If you can talk though your sex problems you can nearly always solve them.
36. Practice Safe Sex.
If you’re dating casually it’s very important to have sex safely but it’s also important in a relationship. Just because you’re only having sex with one person it’s no guarantee your partner will be as faithful.
37. Do Your Kegels.
Kegel exercises keep your pelvic floor strong and they can also help to prevent bladder control issues later in life, or after pregnancy. Best of all, regular Kegels can help you to enjoy longer, stronger orgasms.
38. Don’t Be Shy About Using Sex Aids.
Sex aids can be a fun and erotic addition to the bedroom, and as we get older they can also play an important role in improving our sexual response and sexual pleasure. Try using warming or stimulating lubrication to help speed up your sexual response and make sex more comfortable and exciting.
39. Visit Your Ob-Gyn and Family Doctor Regularly.
Now is not the time to skimp on visiting your doctor and getting your yearly exams such as mammograms and pap smears. You can also talk to your doctor about any sexual side effects you might be experiencing. Don’t be embarrassed! Your sexual health plays a big part in your physical health, and she can help you with any concerns you might have.