10 Types of Men to Avoid This Festive Season
“The party season is a great opportunity to meet new people if you’re looking for love – but how can you ensure you end up under the mistletoe with Mr. Right?
That depends on whether you manage to spot – and avoid – Mr. Wrong. Thankfully, the dating and relationship experts have some good advice on the 10 types of men to avoid!
Very few of us have cash to splash these days, but if he’s tight with his money – and yet accepts drinks from others – you could have a Scrooge on your hands. It’s not just about getting a round in though. Someone who is tight with their cash may also be mean with their time and affection.
How to spot him: ‘Each time a round is bought he slinks back and hesitates… when someone offers he says ‘a pint for me, cheers’. Only when people have had enough does he offer, and by then it’s either water, shots or nothing. If you find yourself offering, more than once, to buy a drink and he doesn’t reciprocate, then you’re with Mr. Scrooge,’ says psychologist Corinne Sweet.
9. The Kitchen Dweller
We might gravitate to the kitchen at parties – after all, that’s where the drinks and nibbles are – but hang about there too much, and you’re likely to come across the kitchen dweller. Hovering nervously, he’s not one for parties, and would rather be at home reading a book. Unless shy and/or anti-social men are your type, get back out there and mingle!
How to spot him: ‘The kitchen dweller will be looking to latch on to anyone who even smiles at him’, says dating guru James Preece. ‘Make sure you don’t pay him too much attention or he’ll bore you to death.’
8. The Party Sleazebag
The ‘party sleazebag’ has no problem with being the centre of attention and is never short of conversation – as long as it’s all about him, of course. Thankfully, the party sleazebag is easy to spot – in fact, you’re likely to hear him (he’s the one talking loudly over people) before you even enter the room.
How to spot him: ‘He will be talking intensely, possibly looking around the room, over the head or shoulder of the person he is talking to, looking for someone else even more interesting or important to listen to him,’ says Corinne.
7. Mr. Damaged Goods
We all have baggage but Mr. Damaged Goods refuses to go anywhere without his – and that includes parties. He lives in the past, and the festive season is a particularly bad time of year from him. At first glance, he might seem the brooding, ‘strong but silent’ type – but give him a few drinks and it all comes pouring out.
How to spot him: ‘He’ll either be angrily ranting on about women (his ex in particular) or crying into his beer as a nostalgic Christmas song comes on,’ says relationship expert Susan Qulliam. ‘If you happen to get in conversation, all roads lead to his misery. Everything you say will be a reminder of the past, which he’ll tell you about at length.’
6. Mr. Misogynist
Christmas is a time for goodwill to all men – but that doesn’t include women as far as Mr. Misogynist is concerned. Stung one too many times, he’s convinced that every woman will let him down in the end, no matter how sincere they first appear. As great as he might be otherwise, this man’s negativity is poison. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
How to spot him: Behaviour expert Dr. Pam Spurr says, ‘You can spot him by his arrogant body language. He often has great posture – standing proudly ‘above’ everyone else but the rest of his body language will be closed down because he wants to keep you out – even if he’s chatting you up. Also watch for a dismissive attitude – when you say something he cuts over you, criticises what you say, or even appears not to have heard you.’
5. Mr. Controversial
There’s one at every party – the man (or woman) who likes to be controversial, especially after a few drinks. Every conversation is an opportunity for contention and they’ll argue ‘black is white and white is black,’ if it gets a reaction. A bit of banter has a tendency to turn tiresome with the fighter – so keep your cool and walk away before he ruins your night.
How to spot him: ‘You can spot this guy a mile off by his aggressive body language. He’ll probably be quite drunk too, so keep your distance,’ advises James.
4. Mr. Needy
There’s something appealing about a ‘lost cause’ for some women. Perhaps because it brings out our mothering instincts and we can be the strong one for once. If that sounds like you, make a resolution to leave the bleeding hearts for someone else to mop up this year. Be brave, and find someone who wants you for you – and doesn’t just need a prop.
How to spot him: ‘Mr. Needy hangs out by the drinks, in a corner or on a sofa, hugging his glass. When you pass, he gives you moon eyes (think Puss in Boots from Shrek) or is looking very forlorn and you feel sorry for him. Stop! If you engage you may never get away,’ warns Corinne.
3. Mr. Uptight
Christmas is a time to be merry and if he can’t relax and enjoy himself over the festive season you have to wonder when he does, and more importantly, if he even can. Lots of sober people are fun to be around – but if he refuses drinks and is so uptight it makes you feel uncomfortable, move on as quickly as you politely can.
How to spot him: ‘He’ll be the one who arrives carrying several bottles of elderflower cordial, probably homemade, and a carrier bag full of his own food because he won’t eat what the hostess has provided,’ says Susan. ‘Christmas is far too commercial as far as he’s concerned, and he’ll tut disapprovingly at everyone’s attempts to enjoy themselves.’
2. Mr. Know-it-all
Plenty of men enjoy giving others the benefit of their knowledge and experience – but some don’t know when to stop. While Mr. Know-it-all may have the best of intentions, his uncanny ability to have been there, done that and know more than everyone else on just about every subject is irritating to say the least.
How to spot him: ‘Unlike the misogynist, he doesn’t mean to put you down – he just can’t help himself – in fact he probably thinks he’s being helpful giving you lots of information and advice,’ says Dr. Pam.
1. Mr. Come-back-to-mine
It’s New Year’s Eve and ‘Mr. Come Back to Mine’ has tried to kiss you three times already – and it’s not even 10pm. If he tries to get you under the mistletoe after just one drink, or tries to get into your taxi without asking at the end of the night, tell him where to go. Don’t feel you need to be polite – be firm or you might wake up very regretful.
How to spot him: ‘This creepy guy will try it on with as many women as he can,’ says James. ‘He’ll work the room until he finds someone – so don’t show an interest, and whatever you do, don’t let him touch you.’